Things Left Forgotten
by Shuri 'in a world of black and white
Summary: A set of oneshots about life after the war. She lived, but without anything. He tried to die, with everything. Fate works in cruel ways, but sometimes it gives you more than one chance.
1. Things Left Forgotten

_Hmm. First GSD fanfic. Sorry if the characters are OOC, since I've only saw...5? episodes and some spoilers. (I know I shouldn't be writing about something so _un_familiar, but I was so...um...inspired.) This fic is based solely on spoilers, by the way, so excuse me for any mistakes in the story line, etc._

_This fic is about Stellar after the war (yes, I know she was really killed) with amnesia, trying to remember Shinn but can't._

_Reviews appreciated!_

_Diclaimer...doesn't this word speak for itself?_

* * *

I woke up, and everything was white.

The walls, the ceiling, the bed I was in, my clothes, everyone else's clothes… They were _all _white.

The people told me I was in a 'hospital'. I didn't know what a hospital was, so I asked them.  
The people just shook their heads, and looked away sadly.  
Then I asked them why they were sad. They just shook their heads again and left me alone in the white room.

I couldn't remember who I was, or what my name was, or how old I was, or where I was from.

They asked me who my 'parents' were. I didn't know what that meant either.

The people just left me after that. I was kept in the white room. Sometimes, a lady would come and give me food, but that was it.

I sat in the little chair beside a window, and looked outside. There was green. The lady who brought me food told me they were called 'trees' and 'plants'. I liked watching them.

Sometimes, it became black. I was scared, and I didn't like it. The lady called it 'night'. She taught me to look up, and I saw a yellow circle and dots of light. 'Moon' and 'stars'. After that, night was not so scary.

I fell asleep, woke up, and ate in my chair. During day, I watched plants. During night, I watched stars.

Later, the plants became red. It was 'fall'. Then came 'winter', then came 'spring'.

I learnt many things from the lady, and from watching outside. Then, I started wondering who _I_ was. But I never remembered. My mind was white, just like the room.

People told me I was a 'natural', and that I was a 'drug junkie'. They said it was probably for 'war'.  
I never understood what they meant.

After the plants changed color one more time, I started seeing things when I was asleep. 'Dreams'.

I always dreamt of a boy with black hair and red eyes.  
Sometimes he was happy, sometimes he was mad, and sometimes he was sad.  
I asked him why he was smiling, or frowning, or biting his lip. He looked at me, but he never answered.  
I wanted him to answer, but he didn't. I wondered what his voice sounded like, but I never found out.

Then, I saw a different dream.  
At first, I saw big, scary things. I knew them from the 'news' of war from the 'TV' they made me watch, but I couldn't remember what they were called.  
They shot fire, and then there was bright light everywhere.

I liked light, but I didn't like _this_ light. It was scary.

I was inside a small room with many small machines. I looked out of the small window in front of me, and saw more fire.  
_From me?  
_I didn't like it. I tried to make it stop, but I couldn't move. In my dreams before, I could move and talk and do anything. Here, I could not move.

A white, red and blue machine came in front of my window, so I couldn't see. I was so scared.

Then, it threw something green at me. There was fire inside the room. It was so hot, and I screamed.

After that, it was all dark. I knew this darkness was different from night, because there were no moon or stars.

I heard some noises, but only faintly. Nothing clear.

Something crashing. Some footsteps. Then someone lifted me up. I felt something wet fall on my clothes, but I couldn't open my eyes to see what was happening.

I heard some more noises. The noise small children in the hospital made when they were called by the doctors.

"Stellar!"  
The person shouted. But I didn't understand what he was saying. Was stellar a thing, or was it a person? That was when I finally opened my eyes, and saw the boy that I always saw. There was water in his eyes and on his cheeks.  
"Shinn…?"  
My lips moved to say that word. I didn't know why, or who or what shinn was, but I said it.  
"Stellar…No, Stellar…!"  
"Shinn…came to see Stellar. S…Stellar is…happy."  
I still didn't know what shinn or stellar was, but I said it. And it hurt when I said it.  
"I said I would protect you, and…"  
'Protect'. I felt something when he said that. It was a special word for me.

Then, black again.

"It's okay now… No one will hurt you or use you…"  
The boy said through those noises that children made, and I felt something cold around me. I think it was water.

When I woke up from the dream, I also found water in my cheeks. I also felt really sad, but I did not know why.

After the dream, I knew I forgot something very important. Something to do with 'shinn' and 'stellar' and 'protect'.

I told the dream to the lady, and she said that the boy was probably called Shinn, and that I was Stellar.  
Then she told me what protect meant.

So everyone started calling me Stellar.

The plants and trees changed colors many times after that, and I became a little taller than when I was in the white room.  
The people told me I needed to go out of the hospital, so I did. They got me a place to live, and I started working in the hospital.

I never once saw the different dream again, but I kept seeing the dreams with whom I know now as Shinn.  
But I still can't remember anything. And I know that 'anything' was something very, very important for me.


	2. Starting From Scratch

_Thanks to all you guys who reviewed for "Things Left Forgotten". I'm still very happy that a number of people seemed to have liked it._

_As a few of you have asked for a sequel, I decided to make it a set of oneshots. To make a full length story would probably have been too much work for me, so these oneshots link to each other in a way but each tells their own story. Hence, they may go on or this might be the last, and the status will always be completed._

_Yes, it's short, I know. I'm sorry._

_Again, thanks and enjoy! (Usual disclaimers apply. Obviously.)_

* * *

_It seemed to be the only right thing to do._

During the war, Shinn Asuka, pilot of the Impulse and later the Destiny had killed many. Too much to count, and he meant it literally. And he had hurt much more than he had killed.

While he was fighting, none of that mattered. It was a matter of life or death –kill or be killed– and nothing was more important than to stop the enemy and protect his comrades. That was the single purpose he fought, and that was the only thing he had believed in.

After the final battle, after the whole conflict came to a halting end, everything changed.

He started having dreams…then nightmares… then even hallucinations of the people he killed and their families, and how they all cursed him for what he had done to them. It also weighed down a lot more in his heart, since he had more than enough his share of deaths around him. It got him depressed, then it stopped him from sleeping, and then all he could was apologize to those invisible beings and beg for forgiveness. And then, finally, it became too much for him to bear. He bought a bottle of sleeping pills and forced it down his throat.

If the ambulance had come any later, he would have been dead.

Luckily for him, his girlfriend, Lunamaria, decided to visit him that night; he _had_ been acting strange lately, and she desperately wanted to help him. And she _did_, since she ended up saving his life.

But, even _she_ did not have the power to truly save him.

xoxox

_The setting sun tinted the sky and sparkling waves a deep hue of red. The clouds were the most delicate shade of pink, and time seemed to have disappeared amidst the sound of the gentle, rippling waves.  
"Shinn!"  
A bell-like voice rang out to him from his back, and he looked back, surprised.  
"Stellar…"  
There stood the long-lost sweet little girl… She, who he had vowed to protect but couldn't._

_"Stellar… Is that really you?"  
His voice only reached his ear distantly, and for a moment he doubted that that was really happening. But when he felt the familiar cool, smooth touch of Stellar's hands on his outstretched ones, he knew that it was real.  
"Shinn… Shinn! I missed you, Shinn."  
"… I missed you too, Stellar."  
"Stellar never forgot Shinn. Stellar remembered you!"  
"I never forgot you either…"  
Shinn felt a tingle run down his spine as he looked into those beautifully innocent magenta eyes. And before he knew it, he was kissing her on her lips._

_After a breathless, fluttering moment, the two stared at each other in the eye._

_"…I love you……I love you, Shinn."  
"Stellar…"  
"When I was on the Destroy, I stopped because you were there."  
"…Yeah."  
"And I still haven't forgotten you… Stellar always dreams about you."  
"………Wait, you're still alive?"  
The girl nodded, and she pulled away. Shinn tried to reach for her once again, but this time, he ended up grabbing the air._

_"Stellar!"  
"…Find me, Shinn. Please."  
"I will, but wait! Where are you? Stellar!"  
"……nd….e…"  
"Stellar!"_

_He cried out trying to keep some of her vanishing figure, but the more he tried the faster she went. As the last remains of the shimmering blonde hair disappeared, he shouted her name once again, fell down to the sea which was no longer sparkling red._

xoxox

When Shinn Asuka recovered his consciousness, he had lost all of his previous memories except for the dream he had while he was being treated on. He no longer remembered Lunamaria, or his career before, or the pain and guilt he had suffered that cause his attempted suicide. All he remembered was the blonde girl called Stellar, and that he had to find her.

She was still waiting for her.

She was the reason why he did not die.

In the end, it was "Stellar" who gave him the hope to live.


End file.
